Through the Eyes of Kolopak
by AFSDallasCali93
Summary: A first-person perspective of Kolopak from the Spirit World as he watches over his son and the woman who has changed him for the better. First part takes place during the series, second in "Full Circle", third after "Unworthy", and fourth after "The Eternal Tide."
1. Kolopak's Wish

It has been many years since I traveled to the world of the spirits, and ever since then, I have watched over my son intently. He, always a Contrary, never fully embraced the legends of the Sky Spirits, nor did he accept the ways of our ancestors. He was never truly happy with his life in our tribe. He yearned to go out into the galaxy and explore the cultures of other living beings. His departure left a chasm in our relationship, one filled with resentment and discord.

Then the day of the invasion came. The Cardassians had taken control of our homeland as a bargaining chip in their treaty with the Federation. This savage race invaded our land, wanting to claim everything they found as their own. We put up a brave resistance against them in an effort to defend the place we called home, but we were outnumbered and I lost my physical being along with many other members of my tribe. The grief hit my son very hard. He felt immense guilt for never making the slightest attempt to mend our relationship while I was alive. As a form of atonement, he bore the mark of our ancestors on his forehead.

But, he could not find the peace he so desperately needed. Not even the guidance of his spirit guide could calm the storm of his rage. He left Starfleet and became a Maquis fighter. He battled the Cardassians every chance he got, and he battled valiantly. Although many considered him a hero, there were those who saw him as a criminal. Worse, the satisfaction he got from fighting was only a temporary relief for his growing discontent. He became consumed by his own darkness and became someone I didn't know anymore. At that point, in my eyes, his future was a hopeless one...

...And then, he met _her_.

She was a Starfleet officer assigned to capture him. In a twist of fate, their crews wound up stranded in an unfamiliar part of the galaxy, and she insisted that he and his people join hers. What started out as an uneasy truce soon developed into mutual trust and friendship for everyone involved. My son felt a growing sense of pride serving with her.

Over time, he found himself feeling the peace he had longed for, and he was grateful for that much. But another feeling was developing inside him, one he never expected to feel: _love_. Yes, he was falling in love. And who does he fall in love with? The very woman meant to capture him. My son has had interesting choices in women. I never understood what he was looking for in the women he has previously been with. But not only did thiswoman captivate him, she has found her way into his heart and has helped him find the peace he so desperately needed. And although she cannot admit it at this time, she loves him in return.

My son knows that no woman can truly be perfect, and she's certainly no exception. She's stubborn as hell, uncompromising, occasionally selfish, and her anger could instantly make the bold, aggressive bear turn wary. She is ruthless towards those who wrong her, and her desire to get her crew home can blind her to the point she makes reckless decisions that can affect herself and everyone around her. She is reluctant to come forward about her darkest fears and deeper sadness, and she hates feeling vulnerable, so she hides her true feelings from everyone. My son is the only one who can see through this, and tries everything he can to coax her to come out of the shadows, even if it means facing the wrath of her frustration.

In spite of all those flaws, she has many endearing qualities that easily outweigh them.

Not only is this woman strong, intelligent, and passionate, she is absolutely **beautiful**. The shimmer of the crystal blue sea in her eyes, her lips caressed by a rose, her skin of ivory satin, her hair an auburn fire. Her deep, husky voice can stab fear into those who wrong her with a steely force. Yet, for those whom she cares deeply for, it can soothe the soul like a stream of honey. Her heart, even though it suffers greatly, is one that is true and loyal. She is the embodiment of all that my son has been looking for in himself and in others.

She rarely opens her heart to her crew members, for fear of making her too vulnerable to properly lead them and possibly put them in danger, but she confides in my son in a way that goes beyond trust. He is the only one allowed to call her by her given name when they are off duty. As they spent more and more time together, the seed of their bond grew into a rosebud. It came very close to blooming when they were temporarily living on an uncharted planet together. It still has yet to fully bloom, but when it does, and I'm sure it will, it will be the most beautiful rose of all.

As a father, I pray to the Sky Spirits that they watch over my son Chakotay as he continues to walk on this path of uncertainty with his newfound peace and wisdom. I also ask that the Spirits help this woman, Kathryn Janeway, find a way to release the self-imposed burdens of her command, and set her inner soul free. May they one day find love and happiness in each other.


	2. Kolopak's Joy

My heart is filling with warmth. The rose has finally bloomed, and it is even more beautiful than I imagined it. The woman my son loves has **finally** opened the door to her heart to him. He may have strayed towards another woman in a fit of a mid-life crisis for a while, but that hardly matters now. He has accepted her love with all that he is.

I know intimacy well, as I have shared that experience with my beloved Tananka, his mother. Normally, I would never eavesdrop on any sexual encounter my son has. It's just as intrusive and impolite for a spirit to watch that as it is for one amongst the living. But in this instance, I had to be sure it was really happening with her, and for the right reason. And I was not disappointed in the least. Even as a spirit, it is difficult to describe moments like these without sounding crass and perverted, but, here goes!

It started out as a quiet dinner date between my son, the new captain of the USS _Voyager_ , and the woman, a Starfleet admiral. Since it was not a short trip for her from Earth to Proxima Station, where the ship was undergoing maintenance repairs, he knew something was on her mind. One conversation led to another, until they finally admitted their romantic interest in one another. No longer under the bindings of protocol, they were free to explore a possible relationship, but only if she would allow it.

When she let her beautiful, long auburn hair come undone, I knew she had made her choice. Once their lips met, the spark of desire and longing ignited into a burning fire. For the next few hours, their world existed only with them in the captain's quarters and in each other's arms.

Feeding an insatiable hunger for love, they took their time making eight years' worth of private fantasies a reality. Every kiss, every touch, every breath, every sound, every move was savored. The shivers of anticipation as they undressed, the release of tension in their embrace, the steady build of pleasure as they explored one another, the intoxicating melting of hearts and souls as they bonded, and their cries toward the heavens as they became one.

As the old saying goes, home is where the heart is. And now, they have come home. Not in the way they came home when _Voyager_ triumphantly returned to the Alpha Quadrant. Not in the way they came home when they saw their families and friends for the first time in years. No, they have come home by finding what they needed in each other. I now pray to the Sky Spirits to allow their love to endure any and all obstacles of life that will surely test them and their commitment.

Chakotay, Kathryn Janeway, **welcome home** , my children.


	3. Kolopak's Sorrow

The worst thing imaginable has happened. Kathryn Janeway has perished. It is a loss so devastating, it doesn't seem possible. The flower has wilted.

When I lost my dear wife while I was still living, my world was nearly broken, held together only by the love and devotion to my son. Now I am suffering immensely, but none more so than my son, who depended on her companionship like he depends on air and water.

He hasn't seen how she died. Perhaps it is better that way, because I bore witness to the traumatic moments leading to her death. During a survey mission of one of the Borg Cubes, she was captured and assimilated. With her expansive knowledge and experience with their kind, they intended to make her their new Borg Queen. Every minute watching her was sheer torture, even for a spirit, as every human quality of hers was gradually being destroyed by this vile species — much worse than the Cardassians. Her consciousness was able to surface long enough for her to order her comrade to introduce a virus to halt the Borg's advances, but at the cost of her own life.

Once she died, she should have come to the Spirit World, where I would greet her, but she didn't. She just…vanished. Residing neither in the mortal world, nor the Spirit World. Somehow, I want to believe that her inner consciousness is somewhere out there in the vast cosmos. I fear that her spirit may be trapped.

Watching her die was bad enough, but watching the impact it left on my son is soul-shattering…

His grief is beyond measure, virtually inconsolable. His heart has plunged into despair, his spirit all but broken. And unfortunately, he hasn't been the same since that awful evening he was told of her death. Although he was never able to hold his alcohol, he used it to numb the pain, becoming dependent on it. Thankfully, he was able to break the habit and stay sober after that, but he is still utterly lost without her. She was the other half that made him whole.

His career as a Starfleet officer has also suffered. Blinded by his personal darkness, he had made questionable command decisions in the heat of battle. His emotional and mental state had become a concern for his crew and Starfleet officials. That, combined with another series of devastations associated with his duties, prompted him to resign from Starfleet altogether. However, his resignation was not accepted, and after he assisted in the effort to uncover a sabotage unfolding aboard _Voyager_ , he was formally invited to take command once again.

The USS _Voyager_ is the very ship that introduced him to Kathryn all those years ago in the Delta Quadrant, and the same safe harbor that brought them back together to let their friendship evolve into love. My son Chakotay may be its captain again, but he is still feeling the emptiness in his soul. Can this ship be the place where he can find himself again? Or be the place where a miracle can happen? I pray that the Sky Spirits help keep my son on the path of healing. And although I may be asking a lot, I also pray that they provide a way for her to come back to him, even if it is only to bring closure.

Something good needs to happen, and soon. I don't what it's going to be and how it will turn out.


	4. Kolopak's New Joy

I am astounded! What I have just seen is nothing short of a miracle. It shouldn't be possible by any scientific standard, and it's too much to ask for from the Spirits. I don't know if the Sky Spirits were truly involved in this or not, but my heart is bursting with joy.

Kathryn has returned!

From the stem of the wilted rose, a new one has bloomed in its place. It is stronger now, and its beauty is simply indescribable.

How exactly did this happen? I should start at the beginning.

I now know why her spirit never made it to the Spirit World; it was being preserved in a disembodied form in the Q Continuum while her atoms were scattered in space. The Q are a mysterious species, even for spirit folk like myself. Their world is completely separate from ours, during life and after life. So, any action made by the Q goes unnoticed by us.

At the moment of Kathryn's death, the red-headed Q appeared and rescued her spirit. Fourteen months later, when the Omega crisis was imminent, she prolonged the moment of her death so she could bring out her consciousness at the insistence of her son, Kathryn's godson. Once her consciousness was awakened, she was able to gather her atoms and reintegrate them with the help of the young Q and her Ocampa friend, Kes. She was back, with everything that makes her the woman she is intact. In a way, it was like she never left in the first place.

It turns out that her death was fixed point in time, and existed in all multiverses. I am fairly certain her fate was one of doom in all those other timelines. She _has_ died and come back to life so much, a cat would be jealous of her. Bringing her back from the dead was forbidden amongst the Q, so it was a risky maneuver for the young man. But in addition to wanting her back, he also felt that she was essential to solving the mystery of why he couldn't travel to a certain point in the future, as his kind are supposed travel through time with little to no difficulty.

Upon seeing her for the first time since her death, my son was initially wary of her presence, thinking it was a trick by Q. But, as I expected she would, she got through to him. As soon as the reality of her return set in, my son's heart was enveloped by the light she creates and his soul was filled with a new sense of passion and joy.

But as happy as they were to be back together, they still had work to do. The anomaly between the multiverse and the Omega Continuum was threatening to destroy the universe. To seal the rupture, the _Voyager_ crew had to shorten the life of the universe by a few million years, but it was a good deal compared to the alternative; destroying the Q Continuum and losing trillions of years of the universe's lifespan. It took the sacrifices of the acting fleet commander and the young Q to collapse the anomaly, averting a universal disaster. A sad outcome, but they both were prepared to do what they knew they had to do, so they died nobly.

My son was able to help in sealing the anomaly, but it cost him his own life. I was devastated that he would accept the failed suicide mission to have _Voyager_ and the shuttle he was piloting fire simultaneous pulses at the anomaly. That attempt ended in failure, and once the threat had passed, she was left alone. This wasn't the way it should've happened. She shouldn't have returned, have reunited with my son, only to lose him.

But to my surprise, the Sky Spirits weren't finished throwing out miracles.

As part of his sacrifice, the young Q was able to bring my son back, and they were reunited. It has been two days since her return, and they have never been apart since then. I know that new challenges lay ahead of them, from Starfleet Command and beyond. Their newly rejuvenated love will depend on their commitment to stick together and continue to trust one another. It is a tall order for any couple, but then again, they are no ordinary couple. The forces of the Delta Quadrant have tested their resolve for seven long years and they survived, with the added bonus of growing closer together. And the Federation Starship _Voyager_ is the ship that made it all possible.

I am now watching over the peaceful slumber of Chakotay and Kathryn. The healing process has begun. It will not be easy, but at this moment, they can indulge in this rare moment of tranquility amongst the stars.

I must return to the Spirit World soon, but I will continue to intently watch over my son Chakotay and my daughter Kathryn. There, I said it, and I am not ashamed of it one bit. She is my daughter. It may not be official yet as far as tradition is concerned, but I have felt such a parental attachment to her from day one, so I am not willing to let that go as long as they are together. And I so hope they will be together for as long as they both live. I pray to the Sky Spirits for this to be true.

Chakotay, Kathryn, you have my everlasting blessings. May your new journey together be one most rewarding.


End file.
